Tag Archives: Quotes

Have you ever written your own vows?

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“You are able to absorb all of life and make it beautiful as it goes through you. You’re like this prism that takes in light and turns it into all these beautiful colors.”

That’s a quote from Season 1 Episode 10 of the Netflix TV show Master Is None. A woman says these words to a man she’s marrying when it’s her turn to say her vows. That’s a really beautiful line. And that made me think of what kind of vows I would make to a woman I’m going to marry. Assuming I even get married. But if I do, I’d like to be prepared. I don’t want to wait till the night before the wedding and feel this massive pressure to come up with something incredibly romantic. That kind of procrastination was unhealthy enough in college and I want to move past that hectic life phase. I should at least come up with a first sentence for my vows so here it is:

My dear (insert girl’s name). You’re not just my dream girl, you’re my dream muse. Whenever I’m writing, you’re always there in my head – guiding me, inspiring me.

Hopefully that first sentence will provide the necessary spark to write more should I ever need to.

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Cockfights, Twin STDS, And More!

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I’m about half way through One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Sometimes it gets confusing remembering the characters’ names, because most of them are almost the same, since the family keeps recycling the same names from one generation to the next. One reviewer on Goodreads said that it annoyed them so much that they ripped out the one of the first pages that contained the family tree and used it as a bookmark.

The chapter I just finished was about the identical twins Jose Arcadio Segundo (JAS) and Aureliano Segundo (AS). Nobody could tell them apart, not even their family members. They were troublemakers at school, constantly confusing teachers by pretending to be each other. As children their habits were the same, they had the same dreams, woke up at the same time and even had bathroom urges at the same time. They used to pretend to be one and other so often that they likely confused themselves, forgot who’s who, and permanently switched identities.

Over time they began to show differences – AS grew to a towering height and JAS was smaller and bonier. JAS once witnessed an execution via firing squad and was so revolted by the act of violence that he ended up becoming a priest… and a professional gambler that placed bets on cockfights.

JAS then started seeing a woman that AS also liked. So when JAS was not with that woman, AS would pretend to be JAS and see that woman behind JAS’s back. And then the woman broke up with JAS because she got an STD – whether the STD was from AS or JAS is unknown and all three of them had to take elaborate steps to get cured. AS told the woman the truth about how he pretended to be his brother so that he could sleep with her, and somehow she forgave him (Her name was Petra Cotes or PC for short) and they continued to see each other for a long time, even after AS got married and had children with a different woman.

Lady Luck also had a major hard on for AS, for AS was considered to be extremely lucky in regards to his livestock. Quote from the book: “His mares would bear triplets, his hens laid twice a day, and his hogs fattened with such speed that no one could explain such disorderly fecundity except through the use of black magic.” Some believed that his luck was due to his relationship with PC. The more he fucked her, the more animals he wound up with.

Meanwhile JAS the cockfighting priest made it his life mission to find a treasure that was reportedly hidden somewhere at the bottom of a sea. He even borrowed money from his brother to fund the expedition and even though it was a complete failure, he did manage to bring back French courtesans that were highly skilled in the art of love. His foreign companions decided to stick around and provided tough competition to the local prostitutes.

So yeah, that’s just a fraction of the novel that I’m currently reading. Inspiring isn’t it?

Childhood vs Adulthood

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Ever wonder what it would be like to grow up in the 1960s? I was watching Jerry Before Seinfeld on Netflix and the comedian and actor Jerry Seinfeld talked about what his childhood was like during this time. Apparently society was a lot more chilled out. Parents didn’t care about things like grades, hell they didn’t even know where the school was located, and they were totally cool if their kids had a 100% sugar diet (lucky charms/frosted flakes for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, and cake for dinner). Half the time a parent would have no idea where their kids were whereas today’s parent pays so much attention to their kid its as if the kid is under a microscope.

I’m sure Jerry Seinfeld was exaggerating a little… I think!

But compare it to how kids are raised today. And ask yourself what you’d prefer – parents that micromanage or parents that let you breathe a little?

I also really liked what Jerry said about adulthood:

“Adulthood is the ability to be totally bored and remain standing.”

Context: When Jerry was a kid, his mother wouldn’t leave him alone at home when she had to go out because he was too young. So she’d take him wherever she was going, like the bank or the wallpaper store. Unsurprisingly, the boredom was too much for Jerry the kid to handle and he would just feel an overwhelming urge to lie down flat when his mom took him to places like these. Makes sense, lying down (and just going to sleep) helps you relax and forget about the boring place you’re currently in.

That quote speaks to me because being an adult can sometimes be a chore. I totally wish I could randomly lie down anytime anywhere (when  I get frustrated or bored).

The value of giving a break

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An old lady is at a grocery store. She gives the cashier a coupon but the cashier tells her that the coupon expired ages ago. Old lady is pissed, she starts giving the cashier an earful – nothing outright offensive but along the lines of, “Back in my day, businesses were willing to give you a break.”

Why is she exploding over a few cents? It’s not like she doesn’t have enough money. But the truth is she’s lonely. Her kids live on the other side of the world and rarely call, forget about visiting. Her husband died long ago and even when he was alive he paid more attention to the TV than to her. She loved running and swimming in her youth but she can’t enjoy those activities anymore – her body isn’t what it used to be.

The cashier doesn’t know any of this stuff. But he has a feeling that she’s unhappy. So he gives her a break. He accepts the coupon and will pay the difference out of his own pocket. Nice of him isn’t it?

Guns

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This post is about two individuals who were present at the Las Vegas shootings about a week ago.

The first is a former marine who stole a pickup truck to drive 30 victims to the hospital. He was able to make two trips before ambulances arrived on the scene. So he went to the hospital and then came back. Then he went again and came back for the second time. When he came back a second time, that’s when ambulances arrived. What’s amazing is that he was fast enough to arrive at the scene twice, before the first ambulance even showed up.

This brave man, Taylor Winston, didn’t have to do what he did. He could’ve stolen the truck and driven himself to safety. But instead he placed his life at risk by staying in the danger zone. He looked for people with the most serious injuries to take to the hospital. Unfortunately he could not rescue as many he wanted to, there were simply too many. Before embarking on this dangerous mission, he checked the nearby parking lot for vehicles that had keys in them. Luckily the first vehicle he checked had the keys sitting right there. Luckily he was not hurt while saving lives.

The second individual is country guitarist Caleb Keeter, member of the Josh Abott band. He used to be a major supporter of the right to bear arms, until the Las Vegas shootings. What transformed him into an advocate for gun control was actually being in the danger zone. He realized firsthand that he couldn’t use his legally owned firearm to defend himself because the police might think he was the bad guy too. It would be difficult for police officers to identify which gun wielding person is a threat and which is not. During the massacre he wrote letter to his parents and his girlfriend, saying goodbye to them in case he didn’t make it. He even wrote a will.

Now some may question the moral compass of individuals who only realize that guns are dangerous when they themselves are getting shot at, but I think many 2nd Amendment proponents do not comprehend the reality of being in the vicinity of a mass shooting because they’ve never been neck-deep in such a situation. Unfortunately that’s just human nature. Here’s how one twitter user summed it up: “It’s frustrating that some people don’t call the fire department until the blaze is at their own front door.”

Here’s hoping we will take steps to prevent tragedies of this kind. But if we do not, then we will need heroes like Taylor Winston to step up.

Two of my favorite quotes

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Have you ever been in a situation where you stood up for what you believed in even though everyone else was against it? Or maybe you wished you had stood up for your beliefs?

Which brings us to today’s quote by Captain America, which is long but damn good.

“Doesn’t matter what the press says. Doesn’t matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn’t matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world – “No, YOU move.”

This quote is especially relevant for Americans who are dissatisfied with their President and the morons who support him. Assuming Trump or climate change do not end up destroying humanity, future historians will have their work cut out for them when it comes to educating future generations about the 45th President of the United States of America. I won’t be surprised if Trump gets a whole textbook that describes his misdeeds.

While it’s important to stand up for what you feel is right, it’s also equally important to be flexible. Being rigid and close-minded is dangerous not only for you, but for others around you. Which brings us to Bruce Lee’s quote on why it’s important to be like water.

“As you empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

This doesn’t mean you should keep your mouth shut in the face of injustice. All it means is – keep an open mind and be ready to adapt if necessary. And if you do find yourself having to go along with something that doesn’t align with your values, just wait for the right opportunity to “crash like water”, or in other words, wait for the right opportunity to rebel.

Bruce Lee’s quote is applicable even if you never find yourself in a situation that requires you to stand up for what is right. Think about your daily life. Are there times when things would be easier if you were more like water? For me personally, being water is a challenge because it requires you to be patient and patience is something I need to consciously work on.

So basically, it doesn’t matter if the cup is half empty or half full, all that matters is that you are what is inside the cup!

That awkward moment when a spider bites your penis again

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Some Australian tradesman was bitten by a venomous spider on the penis TWICE in a span of six months in 2016. Not sure if it was the same spider, but he was bitten on the exact same spot on his penis both times. Both bites occurred in portable toilets. The second time he carefully inspected the entire toilet, including under the rim, but this sneaky little spider was determined to wreak penile havoc. The first time it happened everyone was sympathetic. But the second time? Even the doctors were laughing. This story really reminds me of the phrase ‘Once bitten, twice shy’. Luckily he is still alive and well (for now).

It’s hard to think of someone unluckier than him, but I think I managed to do so. Adolphe Sax, the inventor of the saxophone, suffered a series of bizarre accidents in his childhood. He fell from a height of three floors and hit his head on a stone. He accidentally swallowed a pin. He burnt himself in a gunpowder explosion. Somehow he fell into a frying pan and burnt himself again. He fell in a river and almost drowned. When he was an adult, he had lip cancer for five years but recovered. Even his mother once said, “He’s a child condemned to misfortune. He won’t live.” Despite all this he still managed to invent the Saxophone. But sadly no one took his invention seriously until after his death.